My life

Brand New Day

"You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'"-Eleanor Roosevelt
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'”-Eleanor Roosevelt

It’s been almost 3 months since the new year has started and so much has happened since then.  Honestly,  I don’t know where to even began.  For starters, this year I made a promise to myself that I would not have anymore melt downs/depressing days.  Towards the end of 2012, the whole not having a job really took a toll on my emotional and mental health.  No matter how hard I tried to stay positive, I would let the negative things get the best of me.  I would sit and just cry all day long, thinking to myself “Why me?! Why is this happening to me?”.  It went from that mental thinking to starting to doubt my own abilities and whether or not I was even cut out to have a career.  Horrible thinking, I know, but that’s pretty much how I ended the new year.

I promised myself on New Years Day that I was not going to let stuff get in my way, no matter how frustrating it gets.  So far, I’m doing pretty good so; hopefully it stays that way!  Honestly, what’s been helping the most is hitting the gym.  It’s been the PERFECT way to release all of my frustration and annoyances I’ve had to deal with a few days before.  That and doesn’t hurt to have a good body in time for two summer weddings I’m attending :).  Joining the gym has helped me keep a positive outlook on myself and has helped me to keep moving forward, no matter how difficult it gets.  How so, you say?  Well, think about it-you get on the treadmill and tell yourself that you’re going to run/walk for 30 minutes.  After about 20 minutes, you start feeling like you cannot go on and want to give up; but then you start noticing how fit you’ve been becoming since going to the gym and you see people around you who are in the same boat as you, so you decide to keep going.  You can put that same mindset on your own life.  Sure, I don’t have a job still and yeah, there are times where I get frustrated when I see nothing but I realize that so many of us are on the same boat and not just me.

Perfect example-a few weeks ago, I received a phone call from a lab in DC who wanted to do a phone interview.  First off, I got super excited, especially since the last interview I had was March of last year.  Rather than staying so optimistic, I stayed realistic, thinking that I may or may not get a face to face interview.  A few days later, I got a call for a face to face interview. I was so ecstatic and so relieved! Within a week, I was on my way to DC for my interview.  The interview was pretty intense but I left the building feeling fairly confident.  However, I still kept a realistic mindset on it since 6 other people were also wanting the same position.  I ended up staying in DC for a few more days with my cousin where he showed me around and showed me a good time. It was nice and relaxing and the perfect way to clear my mind. A week later, I received an email from the manager, stating that they chose someone who had more qualifications and experience for that particular position.  Not going to lie but I did cry.  Obviously, no matter how realistic you are, it always does suck when you get rejected.  However, I did not spend the rest of the day moping around, throwing a pity party for myself.  What got me through it? My family, boyfriend and future family.  I felt so appreciative and loved to receive texts after texts how they still have faith in me and know something good will look up and to not let lose hope.  What more do I need?! I could have sat there and threw a pity party for myself but what good was that going to do?  Clearly, it didn’t help me last year nor was it going to help me now.  The only thing to do is pick myself up, wipe off the dust and continue on.  This rejection made me understand that I do have potential and I do have the ability to have a career.  Clearly, this well known company saw something in me that they wanted to give me a chance with a face to face interview; I mean, why else would they have contacted me twice?  At the end of the day, they decided to go with someone who had already experience, which, eh, was bound to happen.  It sucks to go back to square one but I got to do what I got to do.  I know something is out there for me but right now, it’s just not my time.  I do have advice for all those companies seeking new employers-there’s no point in putting “entry-level”, if you’re looking for someone with 1-2 years work experience. Just sayin’. Also, if you want someone with experience then give someone who has no experience a chance so they can receive real world experience.  You have the opportunity to shape and mold that person into what you feel like that person should be compared to someone who has years of experience.  I’m just saying, someone with no experience is more willing to be molded than someone with.

 

EDIT// Thought I’d update more since I have more time. So, where is my life right now since 2013 started?  I’m still with my super awesome boyfriend of almost 5 years (in April! 😀 ).  At the end of January, we had our Nakki ceremony to make our relationship “official”.  No, we’re not engaged. I know, it makes sense, doesn’t it?!

During our Nakki Ceremony.  His mom putting a "bindi" on my forehead.
During our Nakki Ceremony. His mom putting a “bindi” on my forehead.

Well, one of his sister’s is getting married in South Africa in the summer and since we’re most likely not going to be engaged by then, our families decided to have this ceremony to make something about us official, that way I can come along.  Nakki ceremony is pretty common in India, especially if there’s an arranged marriage.  If both guy and girl think one another are good, this ceremony is done to symbolize that both are “off the market” and within a few months, a wedding takes place. Our Nakki ceremony was different in that I can come to SA since our relationship is official, meaning we both plan on getting engaged/married to one another and not someone else.   Once the ring comes, we’ll start wedding planning but until then, we’re both enjoying all these new things that are happening between us.  Am I pissed that I have no ring after 5 years?  Nope.  Do I feel like we need to be engaged right now? Nope. Am I going to pressure him into proposing to me?  Why should I?  In the past few months, so many good things have happened in our relationship that I feel like I don’t need a ring to justify our relationship is “serious”.  I’m happy where we are and how things are progressing that I don’t feel this urge we need to get engaged.  I’m going to let life take its course and let it happen when the time is right.  Of course I want to be married and start that next chapter in our lives but I know that right now is not our time, which is why I’m fine waiting :).  I mean, I’m going to SA in the summer to attend his sister’s wedding-how much more justification do I need that our relationship is “serious” or progressing?  I love my boyfriend with all my heart and I know that he knows when that time is right. Why should I pressure him into proposing just because society thinks we’ve been together for too long for me to not have a ring?  It does suck how I only get to see him once or twice a week but I know that we’ll just enjoy seeing each other daily that much more.  Plus, we’ll both never take seeing each other frequently for granted.

Even though I don’t have a job, so many other good things have been happening that I can’t really complain much.  I know I’ll get a job in the future–I just got to continue staying positive and keep moving forward.

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